SCHOOL JOKES-SANTA BANTA JOKES

Teacher: What is your name?

Student: Mera naam Suraj Prakash hai.

Teacher: When I ask a question in English, answer it in English.

Student: My name is Sunlight.

Teacher: What is your name?.

Student: My name is Beautiful Red Underwear

Teacher: What kind of a name is this? Don’t joke tell me the right name

Student: My name is Sunderlal Chadda.

Teacher: What happened in 1869?

Student: Gandhiji was born.

Teacher: What happened in 1873?

Student: Gandhiji was four years old.

Teacher: What is the full form of maths?

Student: Mentally affected teachers harassing students

Teacher: Now children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him then what virtue would I be showing?

Student: BROTHERLY LOVE

Teacher: Because of Gandhiji’s hard work what do we get on 15th August?

Student: A holiday

Teacher: Can anyone give me an example of Coincidence?

Johnny: Sir, my mother and father got married on the same day same time.

Teacher: How old is ur father.

Sunny: As old as I am.

Teacher: How is it possible?

Sunny: He became father only after I was born. [1st Rank]

Teacher: There is a frog, ship is sinking, potatoes cost Rs. 3 per Kg... Then, what is my age?

Student: 32 yrs.

Teacher: How do you know?

Student: Well, my sister is 16 yrs old and she is half mad.

Santa Banta Jokes

Santa-Banta Jokes

Santa: Tum Next Janam Me Kya Banna Pasand Karoge?

Banta: Cockroach

Santa: Kyon?

Banta: Kyonki Meri Wife Sirf Cockroach Se Hi Darti Hai

 

Santa ke ghar uske sasural wale aaye.

Biwi boli jao bahar se kuch le kar aao.

Santa baahar gaya or taxi lekar aa gaya.

 

Banta: yar kal meine kitni baar call kiya, uthaya kyon nahi?

Santa: Kyon uthaun, 30 Rs. de ke jo gaana lagwaya hai woh kya tera baap sunega?

 

A Judge said.. order... Order.. Order..

Banta: 1 chicken tandoori, thode chips aur 1 cool drink.

Judge: Shut Up.

Banta: No, don’t bring Shut Up.. I only want 7Up.

 

Ek baar exam main question tha, “Challenge kise kehte hain?”

Santa ne saare pages khali chod ker aakhri page per likha.. “Apne baap ki aulaad hai to paas ker k dikh.”

 

Teacher: Delhi me Qutub Minar hai

Banta was sleeping and teacher wakes him up.

Teacher asks: What I said.

Banta: Delhi me kutta bimar hai

 

Santa ke paas ek kawwa (Crow) tha..

Wo bauhot Mulayam (soft) tha..

To usne apne kawve ka naam kya rakha hoga?

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Microsoft

My-Crow-soft. ..

 

TEACHER: you call your Mother as MUM.

What will you call your Mother“s Younger Sister & Elder Sister?

Santa: So simple, i“ll call them MINIMUM & MAXIMUM

 

Banta apne bete se Bola: Oye, Gabra mat. Tu sher ka puttar hay

Beta: Papa,teacher bhi yehi poochti hay k tu kis jaanwar ki aulad hai?

The easiest way to make your old car run better, is to check the prices of new car.

Nurse:A beautiful woman who holds your hand for 1 full minute and then expects ur pulse to be normal

Santa's wife thinks *freedom of the press* means no-iron clothes.

Santa: Wo dekh teri biwi ko saanp kaat raha hai.

Banta: Are tension mat le, Zeher bharwane aya hoga...

Driver: Sir ji, petrol khatam ho gaya , gaadi aage nahi ja sakti.

Banta: Chalo Phir, wapis le chalo. 

Santa bada dukhi tha

Banta:itni tension me kyon ho?

Santa:Ek dost ko 3 lakh plastic surgery k liye diye the,ab use pehchan nahin pa raha.

Santa:Why has the Govt. fixed voting age 18yrs & marriage age 21yrs?

Banta:Govt. ko pata hai ki desh sambhalna aasan hai, lekin biwi ko nahi 

Interviewer: What is skeleton?

Santa: Skeleton is a person who started dieting but forgot to stop it..!!! 

Teacher: Translate - Bazaar mein goliyan chal rahi hain.

Santa: The Tablets are walking in the market. 

How do u identify a true music lover?

A man when hears a woman singing in the bathroom, puts his ear to the keyhole instead of his eye! 45 days ago

Two frinds,who hadn't seen each other in several years, met on the street.

1st: Who are u working 4 now?

2nd: Same people, My wife & 4 child 

Tom:How should I convey the news to my father dat I hve failed?

David:U just send a telegram:Result declared,past year s performanc repeated 

Waiter: "Would you like your coffee black?"

Customer: "What other colors do you have?" 

Teacher: "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?"

Pupil: "A teacher

A Banner cum Sign Board In front of an IT company..

Drive Slowly, Don't kill our Employee..... Leave them to us. 

Most Relatinships fail not because of the absence of love.

Love is always presnt.Its just that,One loves too much & the other loves too many   

T-20 EXAM

Exam based on twenty twenty format!
Cricket has reached exciting levels with the introduction of twenty twenty. If the same thing was Infused into exams, it would have been something like this :-

1. Reduce exam duration to 1 hr and marks to 50.

2. Introduce strategic break after 30 minutes.

3. Give free hit, that is a chance for students to frame their own questions and write answers.

4. 1st 15 minutes power play, that is no invigilator in the exam hall.
(Wow I will love this!)

5. Introduce fair play awards.

6.Cheer girls to cheer for every correct answer written!